Exceeding Expectations

pre-race

post-race

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black

And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends. -Shel Silverstein

I found it easy to excel when there are no expectations. That was how I felt about the Kenai River Half Marathon. I woke up around 8 and there was frost on the ground and I had packed tights and under armor and hats and gloves. Ashley (another RS) was joining me and running her first half marathon. We had tried to recruit some students to come and cheer for us as we ran but it was a hard sell to get college students to get up early, stand out in the cold and watch us run. Without a cheering squad we drove off I went through my mental checklist of having everything that I needed. Breakfast of oatmeal and banana, check, lots of options for clothes to wear, check, shoes, on my feet sooo, check, trusty mexican flag bandana, check, gloves, half check. I looked around and was only able to find one glove. Defeated I decided I didn't want to run with gloves on anyhow. The sun was shining on this morning, now that usually is a good sign, but not for warm weather in this climate. Fortunately the remaining leaves on the trees were not leaving their perch. We arrived, picked up our race packets, I pinned my race number to my under armor shirt and then continued to warm up. Throughout the next hour of warming up (my body and the outside temp) I had changed shirts three times unpinning and re-pinning the bib number each time. I finally settled on a familiar outfit. Now the beauty of a small race (about 50 runners in the half) is that I didn't have to push and squeeze through masses to get to the front of the pack. On the other hand right from the gun I took off and had only the lead bike as my companion. The course wasn't completely "closed" so I had a few friendly motorists give me honks of encouragement. As I made the turn off of Beaver Loop Road and onto Kenai Spur the backdrop of the scene was painted white with the snow capped peak of Mount Redoubt. Upon finishing I stopped my watch and was pleasantly surprised. I was shooting for a 1:15, thinking that was as good of shape as I was in, and finding myself at a 1:11:09. As a bonus I got a hot reindeer dog lunch for free.

My first crochet work and teacher

I have been enjoying letting the students teach me things that interest them. One student has been my basketball coach, another my guitar teacher and another has even taught me how to crochet! My motto about trying new things, "keep it coming!" I crocheted a headband, that started out about four inches wide and ended about three inches wide...whoops, still learning. My goal with that is to be able to make a beanie hat; to make something practical for keeping warm in the winter. My student-teacher is less concerned about function and wants me to learn how to make a flower, hmmm. My guitar student-teacher was self-taught himself and finds it difficult to teach when he doesn't know the names of the chords. Therefore I mostly watch and learn by being inspired. It has been a joy to affirm the students in the fact that they do have something valuable to offer, to give them a chance at sharing their story of how they arrived at where their current passions, and selfishly to get to learn new talents.

I have found myself on the other side of keeping expectations low also. Earlier this week one student left early from Story (a time where students are able to share their testimonies) to get to lunch early. I asked him why he left early and how he would feel if people were leaving while he was sharing his story in front of a group. He seemed receptive to what I had to say and then the next day he left early again. My expectation was that change would be an immediate response. Reality is that I am up against a whole history of not being given appropriate boundaries. To expect him to unlearn this pattern of behavior and change overnight, I found, is unrealistic. Now that I have put it in perspective and reset the limbo bar of expectations it is harder for me to fall on my back in disappointment. Growth is a process and grace is necessary.